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A Pickled Bomb

Christmas was so fun this year.  Because I work in a hospital I have to take turns working Christmas Day and this was my year. So my family and my sister’s family all decided to do Christmas the day before.  As part of our yearly celebration, we like to have a snack dinner on Christmas Eve and then a fancier dinner on Christmas day. This year, since we were visiting my sister in Kansas we decided to eat something we had never eaten before (or seen for that matter).

Pickled Eggs.  Yup that’s right, they pickle eggs and then bottle them up to sell to unsuspecting victims in Walmart.

They were not good.

Like really really, really, really bad. The kind of bad that makes you pucker then blanche, then turn an unhealthy shade of green.

They were sour to be sure. But they were also rubbery and RED. Holy cow were they red.  Not the kind of red that is spicy and burns your mouth.  No, this was the kind of red that burns your eyeballs just by glancing in their general direction. Like a nuclear bomb made of sexy lipstick.

Do you remember that red ball of liquid in the 2009 Star Trek movie? They called it “red matter.”

Well I am convinced that they did not need any special effects for that gelatinous ball of flaming red goo. They just bought a jar of pickled eggs, pulled one out with a fork and hung it with invisible thread from the movie set.

We all sat down to eat on Christmas eve and with a strained chuckle or two we reached into the jar with trembling forks and had a bite. We all did it except for two of the kids. We tried our best to guilt them and dare them into all taking a bite, but 6 year old girls are made of tougher stuff then teenage boys it turns out.  The kind of toughness that doesn’t give into peer pressure no matter what. Now that it is all said and done with we can accurately gauge who the smartest people in the family are. In about 40 years one, or both of them will probably run for President and I highly recommend you vote for them.  They are smarter then all the rest of us combined.

Love you all

Megan Whitmer

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